


Stonefaced facade

by ALLTEHFANDOMSUNITE



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: #SorryNotSorry, Angst, Death, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Mary is dead, Sad, Sherlock - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 17:35:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALLTEHFANDOMSUNITE/pseuds/ALLTEHFANDOMSUNITE
Summary: Everyone just assumes that Sherlock is always okay. No one ever pays a second look at him. No one ever realizes just how broken he is.





	Stonefaced facade

   They say sadness can't get to you unless you let it in. Now that isn't necessarily true. You see sadness is a human emotion, and you are bound to feel it at one time or another. Sherlock understood this, but that doesn't mean that he liked it. 

    Sherlock hated admitting the fact that he was human. Well I mean he hated it but he's never actually admitted it. I guess he didn't  _have_ to. I mean no one ever realized that he wasn't okay anyways. Well no one but Molly Hooper. 

    You see Molly was this sweet woman. If Sherlock wasn't gay and completely smitten with his best friend, John Hamish Watson, then she would've been perfect. 

    Molly often asked Sherlock if he was okay. Of course being the egotistical person he is he always said he was fine. But Molly always saw right through him. She saw Sherlock's broken face when he thought no one was looking. She noticed how all his smiles were forced. And most importantly, she realized the way Sherlock looked and John. The way Sherlock always seemed to brighten up when John walked into the room. 

     She observed Sherlock at Johns wedding. She saw that he had no one to dance with. She realized just how torn apart he was. And she watched him leave. 

     Mycroft Holmes knew something was wrong with his brother when he got a call from Lestrade asking if Sherlock was ok. Usually Mycroft would shrug it off as nothing, but he definetly knew something was up when he called his little brother and was greeted with a destroyed voice. 

     So the eldest of the Holmes went to go visit his brother. He walked into the sight of a totally wrecked man curled up into a ball sleeping. This was  _not_ Sherlock. This was just his remains. He was going to help his little brother. At all costs. 

     John hadn't seen his best friend in two months. He was quite busy with his wife's death and his baby. I mean why would he  _want_ to go see the guy who caused Mary's death. 

    Even so, he did find himself wondering how the sociopath was doing. He assumed Sherlock was ok. Little did John know that Sherlock was tearing himself apart.

    Sherlock was tired of everything. He was tired of the looks Molly kept giving him. He was tired of thinking of John Watson. He was tired of being alone. He was tired of  _crying_. 

    He hated being sad all the time. He hated that his mind was so foggy. He detested the guilt he got from killing Mary. He was sick and tired of everything. He just wanted to  _die_ _._ It's not like it would matter. He wouldn't be missed. Everyone would be so that the drug addict was gone. Especially John.

   Sherlock stood on the ledge of the building. The air whipped at him making his eyes sting and the hair on his arms stand. He tucked the note into his pocket. I'm sorry John. 

      John found himself crying a note in his hand. A note from Sherlock. His last words.

Dear John, 

By the time you will have found it I will be dead. I just want you to know it's not your fault. It's mine. I chose to do this and I do not regret my choice. I do hope you live your life to the fullest. I don't want you thinking about me. Blaming yourself. I hope you find someone who loved you the way Mary and I loved you. I love you John Hamish Watson and I am sorry. 

-SH

    "I love you too Sherlock."

    John shakily held the note. Tears streamed down his face, for he had lost yet another person that he held dear to his heart. He tossed the note into the fire. This was for his eyes only. He was the only witness to it. No one else had to know why Sherlock did it. 

     Everyone found themselves wondering why Sherlock would do what he did. No one seemed to know what flipped the switch that led to this. No one but John Watson. 

**Author's Note:**

> Welp it was short and bad but it's 3 am so oh well


End file.
